Night Allies: Herbs for Sleeping and Dreaming

There's plenty of advice out there on how to get better sleep, solve insomnia, and become a level 54 lucid dreamer. While I'm not going to repeat a lot of what is useful (reducing caffeine and alcohol intake, unplugging before bedtime, getting yourself into therapy, and participating in the sudden onset of world peace that alleviates our collective existential anxiety), I do want to look at the ways that herbs can support our sleeping and dreaming practice. I'll highlight some common sleep complaints and then share with you some of my favorite relaxing and gently sedating herbs in a way that might help you find a plant ally to work with.

There are a lot of reasons that our sleep gets disrupted, some of which is in our control (choosing to turn off our phone instead of scrolling before bed) and some of which is less so (stopping your neighbor from throwing logs in the back of their truck outside your bedroom window every morning at 5 AM). Hormonal changes, aging, autoimmune illnesses, thyroid conditions, seasonal allergies, physical injury, changes in the weather, and so on can lead to restlessness, insomnia, and difficulty accessing deep states of rest. It's also important to remember that any herbs that we incorporate into our healing work for sleep are best used in conjunction with other practices, a few which I'll mention below. For our purposes, I'll be focusing on herbs that help to support our nervous system and emotional health which in turn can help to address many varieties of sleep issues and bring us easier nights. 

Our journey to better nights, however, begins in the morning.

image via @anniespratt

Good Mornings for Good Nights

When we've fallen out of rhythm with our nights, starting our days with supportive plants can be very useful. I generally recommend a daily routine of nervines such as Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis), Milky Oat (Avena sativa), Chamomile (Matricaria chamomilla), and/or Rose (Rosa spp.) as one of the first things ingested upon waking up. Beyond exhaustion, restlessness and insomnia can heighten stress and anxiety in our lives. By beginning with gentle nervines that help to relax tension and alleviate stress, we are practicing being restful throughout our day, guiding us to a place of deeper rest and sleep as night comes on. 

Below I've listed some feelings focused key indications for some of my favorite relaxing nervines - these are just starting points and it's important to follow up with more research, including contraindications, or working with an herbalist to find the best plants for your needs. As stress can be an underlying symptom of many sleep issues, these herbs can help us to release physical, emotional, and mental tension while inviting in relaxation.

• If you're feeling burnt out and like your nerves are frayed Milky Oat (Avena sativa) might be a good ally to work with.

• If you're struggling with the pressures of social technologies, of missing out, and a general sense of anxiety, consider Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis).

• If you're feeling cranky and out of sorts, your digestion is struggling, and/or you are struggling with feeling emotionally regulated, Chamomile (Matricaria chamomilla) might be a good option.

• If you're feeling spiritually restless, tenderhearted, perhaps even dealing with issues of grief and loss, Rose (Rosa spp.) or Hawthorn (Crataegus monogyna) can be a beautiful allies to connect with. These are good plant allies for boundary-setting, too, in your sleep practice with yourself and others.

• If you're really struggling with feelings of anger and frustration and like you could really use a compassionate parent in your life, Motherwort (Leonurus cardiaca) might be the friend you need.

In addition to starting your day with helpful herbs, you might consider incorporating breathwork or meditation into your morning practice. A few minutes of breathwork here and there throughout the day is another way that we remind our body that we know how to become restful, especially at low stakes moments (i.e. not only using breathwork at the time when you're trying to fall asleep, but practicing breathwork when there is no goal of sleep immediately ahead of you). 

image via @bunibrunetti

Winding Down and Settling In

As the day gives way to night, it's time to help our body find its restful rhythms. Much of my practice of herbalism is woven together with the idea of homecoming. To invite ourselves home to a feeling of peace and resiliency, of restoration and homeostasis is about creating an environment within and around us that supports our unique needs. Of course, this process of creating an environment where we thrive is not just an individual project, but as with all healing work, is about how we are part of our surroundings, including our community in whatever forms it takes. In other words, take care of what you can manage on your own and get help with everything else (which is going to be, appropriately, a lot because we are a social species meant to rely on one another). 

Working with herbal remedies in the evening is a signal to our body to begin to ebb and settle after a long day of extension and flow. Any ritual we have, whether preparing a cup of evening tea, changing into our pajamas, bathing, and so on, can act like a doorway and sacred boundary between one aspect of our life into another. With sleep-supporting herbs we are inviting ourselves to cross from a space of waking and doing to one of resting and returning. 

• For a general end-of-day restorative tonic that helps us transition from waking to sleeping, Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) is one of my favorite plant allies to recommend.

• If you struggle with overwork and excess expectation of what you should be doing, struggling to just be and rest, Blue Vervain (Verbena hastata) may be a good ally.

• If your thoughts are busy and racing, waking you up as you feel like you're on the edge of sleep, you might begin and end your day with Skullcap (Scutellaria lateriflora).

• If you struggle to fall asleep and are prone to anxious, looping thoughts, you might want to work with Passionflower (Passiflora incarnata).

• For general restlessness accompanied by tension and a disposition towards excitability, consider Hops (Humulus lupulus).

• If you can fall asleep but struggle to stay asleep and consider yourself a light sleeper, and/or if you've tried Passionflower (Passiflora incarnata) without success, California Poppy (Eschscholzia californica) might be a good ally for you.

I often like to imagine that our sleeping self is something we call home to ourselves every evening. Sometimes our sleeping self gets lost or confused as to where it's supposed to be - sometimes our sleeping self has the energy of a toddler going through a sleep regression. While you're seeking ways to support healthy sleep habits in your life, it can be a useful exercise to take a moment to imagine your sleeping self, what that part of you feels like and needs, and the waymarkers and environment it needs to come back home to your waking self. You might ask yourself questions like:

• What helps me feel not only relaxed but safe to be vulnerable?

• What parts of my sleeping self do I struggle with (i.e. taking "too much" time to sleep is "selfish" or I'm not being "productive" when I rest and sleep)? 

• What are some of my most cherished memories of sleep and rest? 

Alongside these more internal searchings for sleep, make sure to address the practical solutions, too. Get those earplugs, turn off the screens, create your sleeping rituals, and be patient and loving with yourself as your sleeping self finds its way home to you. 

The Dreaming Self

Along with supporting our sleeping body, herbs can be wonderful allies in supporting our dreaming self. Supporting the dreaming self isn't about being able to remember our dreams or become lucid dreamers, though both those aspects of dreamwork can be aided by plant allies, but I think of dreaming herbs as serving nourishing the bridges between our nervous system and the collective nervous system. Nourishing our dreaming body is to tend to the intangible connections we have with other people and places, memories and futuredreamings. Many of the herbs I've already written about in this post support the dreaming body (Melissa officinalis, for example, is one of my favorite dreaming herbs for adults and children when it comes to helping the dreaming body explore freely without the stress of the waking body, Passiflora incarnata can help us have more vivid dreams, and so on), but there are a few more I want to mention.

• For general dream health, Mugwort (Artemisia officinalis) is a long-trusted plant ally, helping us to sleep deeply so we can dream deeply, protecting us from nightmares, and assisting us in connecting to our intuition as we sleep. While Artemisia officinalis is often recommended, I love working with local Artemisia varieties (like A. californica) and if you have a safe one that is local to where you live, consider working with that in conjunction or in place of A. officinalis.

• If you struggle with indigestion in the evenings and suffer with nightmares, digestive herbs like Chamomile (Matricaria chamomilla) can be a good option.

• If your dreams are anxious and stressful, Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera) might offer relief.

• For those interested in a plant ally to support your lucid dreaming practice, Mucuna (Mucuna puriens) might be a good ally for you.

image via @anniespratt

What About Valerian?

If you've been reading about herbs for sleep, you've probably come across Valerian (Valeriana officinalis). Valerian is a lovely anxiolytic herb and for some folks it is an excellent choice for helping relax the body into a state of deep sleep. It's also an herb that is sedating without the addictive quality that other allopathic sedatives can have. 

For many years, I recommended Valerian without hesitancy to my clients. But I started to notice that a number of them were experiencing the opposite of what was supposed to happen with Valerian. Instead of a feeling of restfulness and gentle sedation, they were experiencing restlessness and agitation. Many herbalists have observed similar experiences with Valerian amongst some of their clients. Different herbalists have theories as to why this might be - in my own observation I think it's a mix of physiological reaction in the body (i.e. in the same way a percentage of the population becomes drowsy with caffeine, some folks become agitated with Valerian) and an emotional response to moving into a state of relaxation and deep rest which doesn't feel safe to everyone, especially if there is a history of trauma involved. Valerian, while gentle, is one of the more powerful herbs in the traditional western herbalism materia medica and I've also observed that highly sensitive folks, a population that I work with often, can sometimes feel overstimulated rather than relaxed by Valerian. Yet, there are plenty of highly sensitive folks for whom Valerian is a beloved ally.

So should you work with Valerian? Valerian is an herb that can be really great for many folks, but agitating for others. It can be disorienting to work with an herb thinking that it is going to be relaxing but then find yourself in a state of restlessness instead of sleepfulness, so I try to recommend it carefully. If you want to start working with Valerian, I recommend starting with small doses such as 5 to 10 drops of tincture once before bed or a very mild tea of a ½ teaspoon or less per 8 ounces of water. You can always work with an herbalist one-on-one to help you find the best herbs to support your sleep rhythms.

Preparing Remedies

My favorite way to prepare herbal remedies, especially when we are seeking to restore balance to our nervous system and bodily rhythms, is to make a tea of them (i.e. one heaping teaspoon of herbs to eight ounces of water and steeped for 15 - 20 minutes). The process of making and drinking tea can be an invitation to mindfulness and is a way to engage all of our senses in the experience of making and taking a remedy. Other forms of herbal remedy that work well in supporting the resting body are herbal baths and showers as well as herbal oils (i.e. whole herb oil infusions). Of course, you can use the form of remedy that makes most sense for you and the herb being prepared, such as tinctures or glycerite, so feel free to find the type of remedy that works best for you and your rhythms.

I've created a simple one-page guide to making different types of herbal remedies (i.e. the different proportions and preparation techniques between an infusion or decoction and so on)  for everyone who signed-up for my infrequent but intentional newsletter if you're interested in incorporating healing herbs into your sleep practice.

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Sleep is such a precious thing and so vital to our health that it can cause a lot of despair when it's disrupted. I hope that you've found some inspiration for supporting your own sleep practice and that you're feeling encouraged to ask for help and seek out further resources. If you're interested in a lunar healing perspective on rest, come this way.

May rest be an ally, sleep a beloved companion, both easy to find whenever you need them.

This post was made possible through patron support.
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Of Holiness + Intensity: Vervain Plant Profile

So here I am sitting with my planner and trying to figure out what it is that I’m going to write about about over the next few months. Things we might-do for the Sabbats? Check. Something about how Mercury is not out to get us? Sounds good. A profile on Vervain (Verbena officinalis)? No, I’ve already written that. Right? Surely I’ve written about Vervain!

Turns out, that no, I have not written about an herb that I spend a lot of time recommending to folks.

I think what happened is that I’ve mentioned Vervain in a number of other posts that led to the development of a Vervain-less void when it comes to an in-depth engagement with this most lovely of plants. So I’ve made up for that with the following deep dive into the world of tension alleviating, self-relating, holy altar blessing Vervain.

image source

Vervain
(Verbena officinalis, hastata)

Common + Folk Names : Enchanter’s plant, herb of enchantment, ironherb, herb of grace, herb of the cross, holy herb, holy wort, Indian hyssop, Juno’s tears, pigeon grass, simpler’s joy, verbena, herb of Venus, ferfain, herba veneris, van van, Tears of Isis
Tarot Cards: The Suit of Swords, Justice, the Hierophant
Element : Earth, Water
Zodiac Signs : Libra, Aquarius, Leo
Planets : Venus, Mercury, Jupiter
Moon Phase : Dark Moon
Parts used : Aerial Parts
Habitat : Found globally. The European variety most commonly used is Verbena officinalis while in North America the native Verbena hastata is more common.
Growing conditions : Prefers moist soil and full to partial sun.
Collection : Summer, just before flowering. Tradition dictates that Vervain should be gathered before dawn during the dog days of summer - roughly July 3 to August 11 - when the star Sirius would be brightest in the eastern sky. Read more about the magickal traditions of gathering Vervain in the “Magickal Uses” section below.
Flavor : Bitter
Temperature : Cold
Moisture : Dry
Tissue State : Tension/Constriction (primary), Heat/Excitation (learn more)
Constituents : Vitamin C, potassium, sulfur, zinc, glycosides, essential oils, mucilage, saponins, tannins, bitters, minerals, iridoids.

Actions : Alterative, antidepressant, anti-inflammatory, antispasmodic, astringent, antitumor, aphrodisiac, astringent, anxiolytic, bitter, cardiotonic, cholagogue, diaphoretic, digestive, diuretic, emetic, emmenagogue, expectorant, febrifuge, hepatic, galactagogue, nervine, parturient, rubefacient, sedative, stomachic, sudorific, tonic, vasoconstrictor, vermifuge, vulnerary.

Main Uses : In traditional western herbalism, Vervain is an herb with ancient use, considered like Sage (Salvia spp.) to be a panacea for all ills. One of the earliest recorded uses for the herb was as a remedy for swelling and inflammation related to a number of diseases from poisonous bites to ulcers and swelling in the mouth and throat. The Welsh Myddfai physicians recommended Vervain for the treatment of swollen glands and Hildegard recommended Vervain for ulcers and swelling, including swollen and sore throats. She specifically recommended topical use of the herb in the form of poultices wrapped around the neck. Sore throats accompanied by shoulder and neck tension as well as a headache can be indicators to use Vervain alongside other throat soothing herbs like Sage (Salvia officinalis) and Mullein (Verbascum thapsus).

Verbena officinalis - image source

The healing gift of Vervain to reduce swelling and inflammation - which are sometimes derived from states of excess Heat/Excitation - speak to the plant’s cooling abilities. When describing tissue states in traditional western herbalism, Heat doesn’t necessarily mean that something is hot in the temperature sense which is why Excitation is also used to describe the state. One of the indications for Vervain is someone who is often in a state of excitation and movement - these are folks who tend to overwork, rarely sit still, and are driven by an inner intensity. A certain level of tension is required to maintain this level of intensity and drive and instead of stepping back and relaxing after a strenuous push (whether after a work or school project, an athletic pursuit or any other type of project), they maintain a state of tension which can lead to health imbalances. One of the most common signs of this prolonged state of tension is the tension headache and Vervain can be a great remedy.

The ways that I most use Vervain in my practice and life is as a remedy for excess tension with the tension headache, shoulder and neck pain, and type A personality as key indicators. In general, Vervain can be helpful in cases of insomnia, stress, and agitated nervousness. Signs of irritability, oversensitivity, depression can all indicate that Vervain can be a useful ally. It can be a great herb for children who are finicky, irritable, and have trouble sitting still (sitting still in the context of needing to rest and relax, not the inappropriate expectation of sitting still for hours on end in educational settings). Vervain is a lovely and powerful nervine that pairs well with a number of other herbs - I don’t tend to use it solely on its own because I think that one of the lessons of Vervain is learning how to work with others and ask for help. With tension headaches with a lot of mental chatter, I like to combine Vervain with Skullcap (Scutellaria lateriflora). For recovery after a period of prolonged tension and/or illness including chronic fatigue and postpartum depression (Bartram recommends combining with Matricaria chamomilla), I use Milky Oat (Avena sativa) with Vervain. Where there is lack of pleasure because tension gets in the way, I like to use Vervain with Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis) and Rose (Rosa spp.). 

One of the lessons I have learned working with Vervain is that if it is an herb that is useful for folks when it comes to excess tension in their lives, it is often an herb that indicates that a greater life change is required. As a holy herb, Vervain was and is used in rites of cleansing the temple space and as an offering, and I see it acting in people’s lives in much the same way. Something must change (and often it is patterns of overwork) in order for equilibrium to be re-membered. I recommend incorporating Vervain in both its fast and slow methods of preparations - a tincture can be very helpful for relieving acute pain, but also consider using the herb as a poultice or in a bath to invite yourself to slow down. For some folks that Vervain is useful for the idea of slowing down can evoke a lot of fear from within them - consider using the flower essence alongside the herb for extra emotional support.

Verbena hastata - image source

The herb is useful as a digestive tonic helping to relax the digestive process if it is overly tight and tense and not allowing for the proper assimilation of nutrients. Other indications include stomach aches caused by stress. A traditional use for the herb was for expelling stones from the kidney and bladder. It is also clearing and nourishing for the liver. Another way that Vervain brings balance to the body is by acting on the thyroid gland, normalizing the amount of TSH released by the pituitary gland. Use the hot tea at the start of colds to sweat out toxins. Vervain helps to bring on menses and as a menopausal herb it brings it’s cooling qualities to hot flashes. There is also a long history of use of Vervain for convulsions, spasms, and seizures, especially when connected to menstruation. Use as a galactagogue to help bring milk postpartum (avoid if struggling with engorgement).

Vervain has a long history of being used externally as a poultice for reducing swelling, alleviating pain, and helping to open the lungs. Use for other topical complaints such as bruises, hemorrhoids, and eczema. For mouth complaints such as canker sores, sore throat, gum disease and cavities, use as a gargle. 

Magickal Uses : The magickal uses of Vervain is vast because it was (and is) seen as a deeply sacred herb. In ancient Rome, priests of Jupiter as the patron of good faith who were responsible for advising the senate on issues of war and peace as well as declaring both, would wear crowns of Vervain. Their envoys and messengers on matters of war and peace were called verbenarii, carrying sprigs of vervain to negotiate peace. Vervain was used similarly in this way in ancient Persia and by Germanic peoples. Vervain can be used today for diplomats and mediators, social workers and activists trying to negotiate peace and a kinder world.

The altar of Zeus was said to be cleaned by the herb. Within Egyptian myth, the plant was said to have sprung up from the tears of Isis when she wept over the loss of her lover Osiris. The presence of the herb at times of loss and grief shows up again in Christian mythos as an herb used to clean the wounds of Christ after he hung on the cross. The Druids honor Vervain as one of their most sacred herbs, using it to bless sacred space, in rituals of speaking prophecies, in anointing oils, and as an herb of offering. Throughout Europe, it was seen as auspicious to gather Vervain around Midsummer, sometimes specifically on St. John’s day on June 24. Pliny gave specific directions for the gathering of Vervain as dictated by the Magi:

 “... [The Magi] required vervain to be gathered at the rising of the constellation of Sirius the Dog Star, when neither Sun nor Moon was shining. A circle had first to be drawn around the plant with iron, and after gathering, some wax and honey was given back to the Earth in its place.” (1)

However you choose to harvest Vervain, as with all of our plant relations, it should be done in a sacred manner. As an herb of Venus, Vervain can be used in love spells of all varieties. It’s legacy as a Venusian herb lived on in the Victorian language of flowers as it meant “you tempt me.” In addition to love magick, Vervain can be used in protection spells and healing spells of all varieties. Use the herb for fertility of both people and fields - especially when used around the Summer Solstice. Use to help with psychic development.

Verbena hastata - image source

The Vervain Personality : One of the most common ways a Vervain person will be described is having a “Type A” personality - intense, particular, usually very stressed, and prone to states of tension and excitation. Often they place their sense of self-worth outside of themselves. Usually this is found in their work but it can apply to all aspects of life whether child-rearing, homemaking or competitions of any kind. While Vervain folks do not lack motivation, they often lack the ability to slow down and take a break. When suggestions are made for them to slow down it would not be out of character for them to scoff at the idea and even believe that other folks just “don’t get it” - that they have to work this hard and there is no other choice. While Elm (Ulmus procera) is the essence of folks who place their worth within their work, Vervain does this to a degree but often their work is more about creating a sense of order and rightness in their lives. It has to be this way, otherwise what sort of chaos will ensue? The attempt at control can also be an attempt to make up for a lack of self-esteem, but can come off as taking up too much space in their relationships with others. Though is can be difficult to see from the outside, Vervain folks hold a lot of fear within them. One of the ways that Vervain helps us is to bring us back to what is sacred in our lives. It’s less about taking away fear as it is about bringing us home to something bigger than our fear - our hope. It can be helpful to remind Vervain folks that they will feel tired for a little while after taking a break from their break-neck speeds, but that their energy and vitality will return renewed.

Contraindications : Do not use during pregnancy.

Drug interactions : Do not take at the same time with mineral supplements. Avoid with anticoagulants and warfarin.

Dosage : Standard dosage.

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(1) Graeme Tobyn, Alison Dunham, Margaret Whitelegg, The Western Herbal Tradition: 2000 Years of Medicinal Plant Knowledge (Edinburgh: Churchill Livingstone Elsevier, 2011), 329.

Your Work Is Not Your Worth : Herbs + Essences to Move from Overwork into Interdependence

I’ve been on a journey of slowing down the past year in ways that have brought me relief and joy, but also a lot of trepidation, rigid fear, and destabilization. This move towards slowness has been a long time coming and holy heck have I resisted it for what I thought were all the “right” reasons. None of these reasons served me or the wholeness, resiliency, and pleasure we need in ourselves and our communities right now and yet I clung to them for way too long. Because why embrace change when you can cling?

So what were these reasons that I was convinced deserved my clingy effort? Prithee, enjoy:

• I can’t slow down because the world is on fire and who am I to take time “away” from the fight? (Because who needs to sleep or eat! That’s sustainable!)

• I think I have it hard! HA! Look at all the other folks who have it way harder than you and get back to work. (i.e. the endless, disconnecting, and demoralizing comparison game!)

• If I don’t work this hard I won’t be able to pay my bills (now this reason can be very true sometimes, but it was not true for me all the time and I used it as an excuse to not ask for help from others).

• I mean I work too much but I love my work so that doesn’t count, right? (i.e. the entrepreneur’s death knell)

• I have got to get it “right” on the first go or not only am I “wrong” but a bad person (i.e. the purity politics that are running us ragged in social justice circles).

• If I slow down who will I become? (Aha! This fear is actually a beacon by which to explore deeper needs and desires with)

I’ll be honest - none of these “right” reasons every felt right to me. But I was raised on the internet and this is the sort of messaging we’re bombarded with in communities agitating for change. Slowly but persistently over the years, these whispers of anxiety moved from the corners of my consciousness to taking center stage as my very own personal internet choir of doom and tear-downs. I knew it was happening and tried to alleviate this growing tightness in my spirit in a multitude of ways except the one way I was most afraid of - slowing way down.

Slowing down would be admitted a few truths to myself that I am still learning to be comfortable with:

• I am very introverted but often appear to be extroverted in my life (though this is changing as I grow into these inward parts of myself). Through denying my introversion I frequently set myself  up to feel like a social experiment gone awry using inappropriate markers to judge my “success” of being a person in the world. Coming from overcultures and personal cultures which prize extroversion over introversion means there’s just a lot of stuff to untangle. That and recognizing that we are all a variation of introverted and extroverted tendencies - I’ve just been relying too hard and long on my extroversion skill set and need a break.

• I’ve been doing too much the past few years, following the tight path of fear instead of the open flow of desire.

• The internet choir of doom and devastation in my head? It may have been built on lived experiences, a hyper-connected culture, and real-world problems, but I’m the one giving them the stage, providing refreshments, and making sure the mics are on.

Yet, the allure of slowness has aligned more strongly with my desires than my the power of my fear teaming up with anxiety. What I have known all along is that my worth (and your worth) is not tied up with my work, my productivity or the ever changing measurements of overculture success. I’m going to take a moment to quote adrienne marie brown at length now for two reasons a) consider this an extended invitation for reading her work Emergent Strategy and b) because her words are a pleasure and get right to why we need to step together and slow down.

“One of the most common and exciting elements of the visioning exercises I have done with social justice movements and organizations is the desire for a society where there is more interdependence - mutual reliance and shared leadership, vision. This is particularly our longing in the face of economic competition.

Most of us are socialized towards independence - pulling ourselves up by our bootstraps, working on our own to develop, to survive, to win at life. Competition is the way we hone our skill and comfort with the opposite of mutual reliance - we learn to feel proud about how much we achieve as individuals, and sometimes, to actively work to bring others down in order to get ahead.

In a capitalist society like the United States, every aspect of our survival - from food and water to healthcare, childcare, and elder care - is based on our success at being an individual in the world: Do we compete well enough to make good money so that we can live a good life?

… Do you already know that your existence - who and how you are - is in and of itself a contribution to the people and place around you? Not after or because you do some particular thing, but simply the miracle of your life. And that the people around you, and the place(s), have contributions as well? Do you understand that your quality of life and your survival are tied to how authentic and generous the connections are between you and the people and place you live with and in?” (Emergent Strategy, pages 87 + 91)

Take a moment to breathe that in.

These words brought me back to the moment a few years back of knowing in my bones that I, in all my complexity, have a right to exist. There is nothing to prove to myself or others, but plenty of opportunity to participate. This memory and brown’s words also affirmed a feeling I’ve been having to describe my work not as intersectional (though it is) but more accurately as interdependent - but that’s another post… Right now, that’s feeling good in my bones and getting slow means I’m paying more attention to my rootedness.

Slowness as a sacred act of resiliency, homecoming, and pleasure, has reminded me that my worth is not tied up in my work, my productivity, my success or my failures. It’s bound up in relationships. Yes, work can be one way of creating relationships, but it shouldn’t replace relationships, or be a measurement by which to determine if you are worth relating to. Some of the earliest lessons and knowings my Pagan Witch path was tied up to the idea of being in harmonious relationship with myself, the elements within and around me as well as the community of people, creatures, and kin that I was part of. I remember learning “a Witch is only as good as their word” and, being people of spoken charms and incantations, listeners of plants and animals, and storytellers of lost myths, how important this felt for me. How filled with a sense of worth I was knowing that the world might be telling me one thing about how my worth was determined, but I knew that it was these sacred relationships that were the true reflection of my worth.

But it was really hard to take the first few steps of slowing down. So I turned to my relationships with my plant kin for guidance. And if you’re feeling resonance with what I’m writing, I hope that the following recommendations for both flower essences as well as herbal remedies help those of you who are trying to slow down in order to do less but be more. More in love. More in life. More in your wholeness and relationships. 

Herbal Allies

Milky Oat (Avena sativa): All of the herbs I recommend are nervines because our nervous systems are overworked when we use work as our marker for our worth. Milky Oat is a beloved of mine and a true friend to those of us who have crispy and frayed nervous systems. This is a daily long-term (multiple months) sort of remedy to really take root. Along with nourishing and restoring the nervous system to balance, Milky Oat softens us up. Overwork creates a state of rigidity brought on by tension and fear. As we learn about how to be internally nourished from Milky Oat they help us to seek out similarly nourishing relationships with the people, creatures, and places around us. Read the full Milky Oat plant profile.

Blue Vervain (Verbena hastata): Neck and shoulder tension, stress headaches, and a being tightly wound or type A, are all indicators that Blue Vervain may be a helpful ally to you. The herb is lovingly relaxing and tension-reducing as well as alleviating inflammation. As a temple herb - a plant that is well-suited to sacred rites - Blue Vervain helps us to figure out what is sacred in our life and how much space we want to gift to our sacredness. Read the full Blue Vervain plant profile.

Rose (Rosa spp.) Flower + Essence: I’ve written about Rose quite a bit, but in particular for overworkers and folks struggling to place their worth in a framework that is healing instead of disruptive, Rose helps us to reconnect us to our heart presence. As a symbol of mystery and complexity, Rose helps us to embrace our own complexity and ability to adapt. And adaptation is not just another excuse for running yourself ragged (i.e. I can adapt to only 4 hours of sleep a night and maintaining a toxic relationship to social media, it’s cool) but real adaptation means we know when to step up, step back, and step into the arms of support. 

Elm Flower Essence: I resisted taking Elm flower essence because I didn’t want to recognize myself as someone who tied up so much of their worth to their work. But immensely patient Elm said, “That’s fine. I’ll wait.” Here’s the description of Elm from Dr. Edward Bach “Those who are doing good work, are following the calling of their life and who hope to do something of importance, and this often for the benefit of humanity. At times there may be periods of depression when they feel that the task they have undertaken is too difficult, and not within the power of a human being” (The Twelve Healers and Other Remedies). Elm is an excellent ally not only for the “work as worth” dynamic but for when burden outweighs hope in one’s life, remembering that burdensomeness in one’s life can manifest as persistent anxiety. This is a great pre- and post-therapy session essence, too.

Oak Flower Essence: The essence for folks who don’t know when to sit down and rest. We all know how strong you are - you don’t need to prove it to anyone. It’s time to believe it yourself and rest up before that resiliency runs out on you. This essence is great for folks who feel a sense of duty to set the world right at the cost to their own health and wellbeing. Stubbornly resisting slowing down even thought there is small but persistent inner knowing that it’s just what you need? Make friends with Oak. Oak is one of the most beautiful teachers of interdependence and a longstanding embodiment of wisdom with a root system even more extensive that then vastness of its aboveground presence - which should tell us something about longevity. Again from adrienne marie brown’s book this time quoting Naima Penniman:

“When Hurricane Katrina slammed into the Gulf Coast, almost everything lost its footing. Houses were detached from their foundations, trees and shrubbery were uprooted, sign posts and vehicles floated down the rivers that become of the streets. But amidst the whipping winds and surging water, the oak tree held its ground. How? Instead of digging its roots deep and solitary into the earth, the oak tree grows its roots wide and interlocks with other oak trees in the surrounding area. And you can’t bring down a hundred oak trees bound beneath the soil! How do we survive the unnatural disasters of climate change, environmental injustice, over-policing, mass-imprisonment, militarization, economic inequality, corporate globalization, and displacement? We must connect in the underground, my people! In this way, we shall survive.” (Emergent Strategy, 85)

While I still feel like it’s early days learning about my slowness, it also feels like a return to something very old within me that I’ve always known. And old places within ourselves can be hard to get to. So lean on the elders in your community, be they plant, people or creature, and remember to slow down when wisdom is shared. Yes, the world needs changing if we’re going to find ourselves in more just and kind relationships with one another and our ocean planet. But though we need to act quickly, ultimately the solutions remain ones of slowness. Slowing down unrelenting growth, dominating expansion, and consumerism, into something more considered, unafraid of real change, and tied to the sacredness of life and death, not just its exploitation. Remember not to exploit your own resources in an attempt to save other resources.

Practice slowness as a spiritual calling.
Know slowness as self-love.
Create slowness in your community as an act of resiliency.

In slowness and gratefulness,
Alexis

Herbs and Essences for Empaths and Highly Sensitive People

Edit: Inspired by this post and the request of readers, I wrote a whole course for plant allies and highly sensitive people - check it out!

I learned what an empath was when I was about 12 years old and it was a turning point in my young development.

Having a name for what felt like an overwhelming experience of the emotional vibrations of others that felt like something bigger than just hormonal changes led me to learning techniques to protecting my sensitive side. Even though I wasn’t ingesting much herbal medicine at that point I would wear herbs and stones as charms and found that gentle magick to work well for me. I also learned how to ground and center as well as basic shielding and warding which are not only essential skills for empaths and highly sensitive folks but for anyone pursuing magickal studies. These skills made my teen years way more tolerable and shaped me into the herbalist and witch that I am today.

But what is an empath? Or highly sensitive person? While the two terms are not interchangeable they are similar enough in my opinion that my herbal and essence-based recommendations can be applied to both. An empath is a person who has the ability to perceive and experience the feelings of other people and sometimes places. We are all empathic, but some folks empathic ability is heightened to a point that it can become overwhelming or distracting in their life. Because of their skill set many empaths go into the healing and therapeutic arts.

Highly sensitive people (HSPs) experience a heightened sense of their surroundings and may even have a more sensitive nervous system. They are often keyed in to the subtleties of others and their surroundings (including sound, light, texture, and smell) than non-HSPs. Again, everyone is prone to be more sensitive to at least one sense - HSPs are generally more sensitive in all of their senses which, like empaths, can lead to becoming easily overwhelmed. Due to their sensitivity, however, lots of HSPs thrive in the arts and activities that require great amounts of subtlety.

In short, empaths experience a heightened sensitivity to their emotional environment, whereas HSPs experience a generalized heightened sensitivity. Of course, some folks are both Empaths and HSPs while other folks are one or the other.

When it comes to herbs and essences my recommendation for Empaths and Highly Sensitive People is as follows: 

Make friends with a nervine.

Connect with an adaptogen.

Create your custom rescue remedy.

These three remedies combined with a grounding, centering, and shielding practice can be beautifully effective in protecting your energetic senses and supporting your physical form. A bit of thorn magick helps, too. I’ll also talk about additional ways of supporting your Empathic or HSP self that I have found useful for myself and my community over the years. I’ve listed some of my favorite herbal allies for Empaths and HSPs below but as always, I I recommend doing your research or working with an herbalist to find the ones best suited for your constitution.

Make Friends with a Nervine

Nervines are herbs that are nourishing and restorative to the nervous system. There are two main types of nervines: relaxing and stimulating. We’ll be focusing on the relaxing nervines for our needs as Empaths and HSPs are often overstimulated when they’re feeling out of balance. Nervines help the body to return to a state of rest and relaxation and many of them are great tonic herbs meaning that they can be taken daily for a long time. I’ve listed a number of my favorite herbs for Empaths and HSPs below, highlighting three that I’m particularly fond of.

Milky Oat (Avena sativa) : I was just talking about Milky Oat in my most recent newsletter. It’s known as a tophorestorative to the nervous system meaning that it brings the nervous system back into balance. Milky Oat is a great nutritive herb that can be taken on a daily basis. I love it for Empaths and HSPs because it feels gentle in the body but has a powerful and long-lasting effect. Read my full plant profile on Milky Oat.

Skullcap (Scutellaria lateriflora) : Skullcap is great for symptoms of anxiety, especially when there are hurried and worried thoughts, that can accompany heightened sensitivity. I’ve written about Skullcap a number of times including as an ingredient one of my favorite self-care teas that I highly recommend for Empaths and HSPs. Read my full Skullcap plant profile.

Rose (Rosa damascena) : Beautiful, amazing, unfolding Rose! Rose has gentle nervine qualities with the extra magick of thorn medicine. Rose is an ancient herbal ancestor and they’ve been a guide of healing wisdom through the ages - who better to turn to when life feels too big and overwhelming than to one who has seen it all and thrived? 

Additional nervine options:

• Gotu Kola (Centella asiatica)

• Blue Vervain (Verbena officinalis)

• Chamomile (Matricaria recutita)

• Passionflower (Passiflora incarnata)

• Lavender (Lavandula spp.)

• Lemon Balm (Melissa officinalis)

• St. Joan’s Wort (Hypericum perforatum)

Connect with an Adaptogen

Adaptogens are herbs that help us to adapt to stress. They are not meant to be a replacement to good stress management and therapeutic support, but they are excellent at supporting are ability to shift perspective and reconnect to a place of centeredness within ourselves. Many adaptogens can be stimulating because part of learning how to adapt to stress is having all of our organ systems working well and adaptogenic herbs can help to wake up sluggish systems. Too much stimulation from an herb, however, can be detrimental to Empaths and HSPs, but not always. Again, get to know yourself and your constitution when choosing herbs. I’ve listed adaptogens that are less stimulating in their energy as compared to some adaptogens, but still bring in that much needed ability to restore the body to balance after a period of stress.

Eleuthero (Eleutherococcus senticosus) : I really like Eleuthero because of it’s gentle nature (you might be sensing a theme here with the emphasis on gentleness as an important form of remedy for Empaths and HSPs). It can be used with young and old for an extended period of time without overstimulation. Eleuthero strengthens our energy and inner vitality which in turn supports the resiliency of Empaths and HSPs. If you’ve found other adaptogens to be too stimulating, you might find yourself enjoying Eleuthero.

Reishi (Ganoderma lucidum) : Empaths and HSPs could learn a lot from the vibratory interconnectedness of the mushroom kingdom. Like other adaptogens, Reishi supports vitality and longevity with especial attention paid to the immune system. Reishi can help Empaths and HSPs transition from feeling overwhelmed by their heightened perceptions to being grounded in their gifts of interconnectedness.

Additional adaptogen options:

• Sacred Basil (Ocimum sanctum)

• Ashwagandha (Withania somnifera)

• Schisandra (Schisandra chinensis)

• Rhodiola (Rhodiola rosea)

Create your Custom Rescue Remedy

Here’s where the essence part of my recommendations come in. Many of you are probably familiar with Dr. Edward Bach’s Rescue Remedy. It’s a staple in many a holistic apothecary and for good reason - it’s effective, non-invasive, and can be used for everyone. If you don’t have time to put together your own personal rescue remedy based on my recommendations below, just go ahead and get your own bottle of Dr. Bach’s Rescue Remedy - it’ll serve you well.

The idea of a custom rescue remedy is to create an essence blend that meets your unique needs and the type of stress response you find yourself going through again and again. I’ve given recommendations for essences from the Bach and Flower Essence Society companies because they are easy to find in wellness stores and online. I’ve also recommended a handful of gem essences which you can either make yourself or find online. You can choose a 2 - 4 essences from the list below (or any that you come across in your studies) and combine a few drops of each into a one-ounce dosage bottle that you can then take 1 - 3 drops from as needed or three times daily as a tonic. Trust your intuition - your extra sensitivity is meant to help and guide you - and create a blend that will help you integrate useful information and leave out the rest.

Yarrow Environmental Essence : This is actually a blend of essences that I highly recommend for HSPs. In fact, if you were to take one essence long term, this is the one that I recommend. Yarrow Environmental Essence helps HSPs to deal with their increased sensitivity while also protecting against the impact of overstimulating and polluted environments. It’s an essence blend that I take regularly but one that I make sure to have with me any time that I travel as it’s an excellent adventuring companion.

Black Tourmaline Gemstone + Essence : A wonderfully protective and grounding essence for those Empaths and HSPs struggling to feel safe and centered in the world. I recommend keeping a piece of the stone near your work or study space as well as wearing it on your person in addition to using it as a gem essence.

Red Chestnut Flower Essence : Red Chestnut is especially useful for Empaths who get caught up in the emotions of others, trying to take on other’s problems, and become the ultimate harmonizer of all situations everywhere. The essence helps remind Empaths that these are not their feelings and they are not responsible for them. The essence teaches appropriate boundary-making.

Additional flower and gem essence options:

• Rose (Rosa damascena) Flower Essence

• Beech (Fagus Sylvatica) Flower Essence

• Aspen (Populus tremuloides) Flower Essence

• Dill (Anethum graveolens) Flower Essence

• Campion (Silene californica) Flower Essence

• Smoky Quartz Gem Essence

• Rose Quartz Gem Essence

• Kyanite Gem Essence

• Garnet Gem Essence

🌿

Looking for plant allies for social gatherings? Come this way.

It's my hope for you that after reading this post you feel like you have a few new tools to use on your journey as an Empath and/or Highly Sensitive Person through this world. We need your gentleness and attention to subtlety to help keep us paying attention to the heartlines of the world.

P.S. Interested in learning more about your unique gifts and sensitivities as a healer? I've created a space to help you discover just that.